Cat Letters

NORBERT -- Introduction

(The Musings of Norbert, followed by realistic observations from his owner/slave)

Norbert: First let me introduce myself so you can have my image in mind as you read. My name is Norbert and I have been researching its background as it is so unusual. I have discovered there was a French 'Saint Norbert' who died in 1134 who adopted an asceticism so fierce that it killed his first three disciples.

The haulage company mellifluously called 'Norbert Dentressangle' was founded in France in 1979 and has now been taken over by a US company.

Nobert (Nobby) Stiles was a member of the famous English 1966 Football World Cup team and did a spontaneous jig when we won, brandishing the Jules Rimet trophy in one hand and his false teeth in the other. I want it to be known that I was called after Nobby Stiles for a number of reasons: he’s British, he’s a winner and obviously a jovial and eccentric character. My kind of chap.

My appearance: I am luxuriantly befurred in a fine russet with lighter stripes. Some refer to this colouring as 'ginger.' Sniff. The term does not live up to the regal pelt I have. Some also say I am the archetypal Ginger Tom, but there used to be quite a lot more of the Tom about me before the noxious person known as The Vet had a go at my nether regions. My six-pack is enhanced by the lines of stripes in a magical way.

I’m told I have a tail but this is an alien term to me. There is a strange wafty thing at the back with a pale tip that follows me around all the time. Is that it? I have been swatting it away from my nose but I’ve been told I can move it myself. I’ll give it a try.  

I’m currently about to have refreshing snoozy poos. But, never fear, I will return.

(His Slave points out that he has commandeered a pillow on the bed next to her, which he lies on, looking much like the crown on the regal cushion as presented at The Coronation.)

Norbert: ZZZ Snore Snuffle. Fwufff, fwuff ……… luxuriant stretch whilst still asleep.